What it Means to be an Adivser

As our final Adviser Appreciation Month blog post we have a letter from an adviser to Mu-Missouri's Chapter Management Team (CMT). It is a wonderful summary of what advisers are and what they do for our collegians. 

Dear Mu CMT,

I am looking forward to having a fabulous year of improvements and watching each of you make your mark on Mu chapter.

There are a few things that I just wanted to go over as we undertake the new year.

My job is to advise, not do. Sometimes, it's hard for me to toe the line on that one. I need to guide, offer ideas, and answer questions. If I make suggestions, it's okay to say no. Ultimately, you are responsible for the duties of your positions. Watch your deadlines and be knowledgeable with all of the handbooks and resources available to you.

I appreciate your prompt responses to me and other advisers. If you need time to look into something or you're in the middle of a crazy few days with classes, just send a quick, "I got your message and I should be able to look into it soon." It is preferable to receive some type of response within 24 hours. I will do the same for you. If things are crazy with the kids and I can't get you an answer right away, I'll at least let you know that. Trying to follow some etiquette that you might see when you enter a job after college hopefully will be helpful.

You can call me, text me, email me, ask to meet for coffee. I'm very accessible.  If you need a home-cooked meal, I'm here for that too.

Please remember what we've talked about as a chapter as far as social responsibility. As an officer, you are held to a higher standard. Please watch what you post on Facebook and/or photos others tag you in. I see some really great group shots and then I see some pictures that aren't so great. These are there forever. I'm not on Twitter so I won't see what you're doing there, but make it worthy of being a Delta Gamma. Be positive examples for the chapter.

Stay on top of your studies. If you are finding trouble managing, come to me. We'll talk and work on it. Don't let the end of the semester catch up to you and find your grades aren't what they need to be. Balance is hard to achieve, but I know you can do it.

I am thankful to each of you for being willing to step up and lead your chapter. Be confident in your leadership abilities and be flexible. Delegate. Dream. Keep focus on the big picture when the day-to-day starts to drag you down. Be ready to hold your sisters accountable. Be ready to see the amazing product of your hard work. Honor Eva, Anna, and Mary in everything you do, and I'll always be your champion. 

-Julie

Julie Ryan, Epsilon Nu - James Madison, is the Member Education Adviser of Mu-Missouri. She can be reached at julieryannc@aol.com.

"Aunt Hannah" Mentorship Program Brings Boston DGs Together

I am writing this from Boston Logan Airport as I wait for my flight to London shortly after the explosions occurred at the finish line of the Boston Marathon. It has been an emotional day of a range of emotions including excitement, fear, and sorrow. As I checked in with our fellow Delta Gamma alumnae sisters who were running the marathon to make sure they were safe I was overwhelmed with emotions. I moved to Boston about three years ago from New York after finishing my AmeriCorps service to start a new position with Harvard Medical School. I was unaccustomed to the city and did not know a single person. Immediately I reached out to the Boston Delta Gamma Alumnae Chapter and before I knew it I met fellow alumnae, attended social gatherings, and volunteered for Service for Sight. Before I knew it, I had a network of engaged, driven, and smart women to spend time with. When I heard of an opportunity to get matched with a collegian in a mentorship program called “Aunt Hannah” through the alumnae chapter I thought it would be a great opportunity to get involved as an alumnae. I also understood the challenges and frustrations of finding a mentor and how difficult it could be to navigate student life, academia, and chartering your path as a young professional.

As an “Aunt Hannah” I was matched with Amy Bryson a Delta Gamma at Boston University’s Zeta Zeta chapter who at the time was studying international relations with a focus on international systems, public health, and economics. Now she is teaching a 6th grade science and social studies class at a Title-1, failing middle school in Atlanta, GA through Teach For America. Her students face gaps in literacy up to four grade levels (meaning 6th graders are reading and writing at 2nd grade level). However, currently her students are writing five paragraph argumentative essays on the level of the 8th grade-writing test based on clips from 60 Minutes and New York Times Articles about high-level, cross-content topics such as Fracking for Oil Shale or Privatizing Water. This is a testimony of her incredible strength, determination, and passion for ensuring children have access to high quality education to provide opportunities to rise out of poverty.

Over the years I have been a mentee and a mentor in numerous mentorship programs both when I was an undergraduate, graduate student, and now as a young professional. Often it can be challenging, lacking structure, and sometimes even awkward. A true mentorship relationship embodies a balance between listening and problem solving. I have learned a vast amount from being an “Aunt Hannah” during late night Skype sessions with Amy discussing the challenges of being a leader, working in low resource impoverished settings and not getting burn out, trying to navigate uncharted carrier territory, and making graduate school decisions. It has been truly rewarding and has deepened the meaning of my life long membership as a Delta Gamma alumna. I believe through mentorship alumnae can provide guidance and a platform for discussion of hard topics such as finding a true balance as a professional, navigating the grey area of making career decisions, and the gender gap.  

Ariella Camera, Alpha Chi-Penn State, is a Master’s Degree Candidate in Sustainable International Development at the Heller School for Social Policy and Management, at Brandeis University. She transplanted to Boston three years ago where she works at the National Initiative for Children’s Healthcare Quality (NICHQ) and is VP Membership of the Boston Delta Gamma Alumnae Chapter. You can reach Ariella at Ariella.Camera@gmail.com. 

Boston Delta Gamma Alumnae Chapter: The Delta Gamma Boston alumnae chapter supports Zeta Phi- Harvard and Zeta Zeta- Boston University collegiate chapters in a variety of different ways. Throughout the year, alumnae interact with collegians at Founders Day, Foundation activities, and social events like an annual senior tea. Additionally, alumnae provide support for both chapters by volunteering at recruitment and raising funds for several scholarships. In recent years, the alumnae chapter has integrated a mentorship component through “Aunt Hannah” programming, which has spanned from alumnae getting matched with collegians based on professional interests to mentorship-focused events. Boston alumnae look forward to strengthening this mentoring program to better provide collegians and alumnae an opportunity to meaningfully connect.

Being an Adviser is not being an "Obstacle to Fun"

When the opportunity to become ATC arose, I was a bit nervous.  I had been involved with Delta Gamma on an alumnae level, but I had not been involved on the collegiate side since my own collegiate experience.   I expected to be viewed as an obstacle to fun. However, I was pleasantly surprised when I walked into the lecture hall at the University of Delaware for the first time.  I was welcomed by a room full of ‘snaps’ from the women of Zeta Chi, who were excited to have additional support after becoming accustomed to limited adviser involvement.  This warm welcome assured me that accepting this position had been the right decision. 

My first year as ATC was spent learning about the chapter and campus dynamics by attending meetings and events in person.  Due to relocation, I have been forced to become a distance adviser.  When I am not able to be physically present, I am able to maintain my relationship digitally (email, phone, text, Skype, etc.).  Through both of these advising experiences, I have learned that timely communication is key to a successful and respectful advising relationship.  I may not always have an answer to their questions immediately, or at all, but letting these women know that I will work to help them find an answer or an appropriate resource keeps everyone informed and stress-free.  Being an adviser is not about giving answers and enforcing rules.  It is about helping to give these young women the tools, resources, and guidance they need to find their own answers, conduct themselves with dignity, and essentially run their own business. 

Many of my friends ask me why I continue to be involved in Delta Gamma at my age, or why I don’t transfer my advising positions to a collegiate chapter that is closer to where I currently live.  The answer is simple: Over the past two years it has been amazing to watch the women grow personally, professionally, and as a chapter.  My relationship has grown even deeper to include not only adviser, but mentor and friend.  For me, Delta Gamma is a lifelong commitment, and I hope to inspire these women to feel the same way.  

Cara Deitcher, Beta Sigma-Maryland is the Advisory Team Chair for Zeta Chi - Delaware. She can be reached at deltagcarad@gmail.com.

From Lost Alumna to Adviser

I recently heard a term that was new to me – “lost alumna.”  For nearly twenty years, that term described me.

I left DG behind when I left college, in part because I lived far from my campus of initiation and my sisters were spread out across the country.  I did not realize I missed DG until my daughter joined a different sorority at the University of Alabama before DG colonized here.  When DG announced that it was colonizing at the University of Alabama, I sought opportunities to be involved in limited ways.  Then I received an unforgettable phone call – I was asked to serve as an adviser.  I protested that I had no time, but I was a push over because I wanted to contribute in any way I could to make sure the new Delta Gamma colony would be outstanding.  

That call truly changed my life.  I now spend significant time (hours I did not know I could find) consulting with collegians and assisting the officers, directors, and other advisers.  In return, I receive rewards I anticipated: satisfaction from watching the collegians successfully complete major tasks; joy from relationships with outstanding young women who are just beginning to chart their paths in life; pride from observing motivated and caring young women develop into mature leaders; and fulfillment from relationships with the outstanding members of the advisory team.  I also receive rewards I never imagined:  knowledge and personal growth due to the extensive tutelage of our outstanding Council Appointed Consultant and Council Appointed Recruitment Coordinator; friendship and wisdom from numerous dedicated fraternity officers, directors and employees who have always willingly answered my numerous questions; and the development of skills in conflict management, leadership, teaching, etiquette, and communications from working with the collegians.  To my surprise, I learn as much, or more, from the collegians than they learn from me!  I am truly grateful to be a found alumna.

Appie Owens Millsaps, Zeta Beta - Dartmouth College, is an attorney at law in Tuscaloosa, Alabama.  She practices with the law firm of Owens & Millsaps.  She also serves as the Advisory Team Chairperson for Beta Psi - University of Alabama.  You can reach Appie at millsaps@theowensfirm.com.

Learning to Live after a Father’s Suicide

A woman’s journey from a loss that knocked her down to a sisterhood that picked her up.

On December 12^th, 2009, my life changed forever. I was a junior in high school and I was taking my ACT test for the first time. I was pulled out of my test and sent home; that’s when I found out my daddy had committed suicide. I felt like my world was tumbling down and for a moment, it stopped. It’s been nearly three years since I was taken out of that ACT test to the worst news of my life. I miss my dad every day.

He suffered from bipolar disorder, meaning a lot of highs and a lot of lows and it eventually lead to my parent’s divorce. While this disorder took my father from me, it also showed me the depths of a mother’s love and strength.

My mom was my primary caregiver and after my father’s death. Things got harder for her too.  She tried her best and kept our family together. It was not easy but she managed and she is the strongest person I know.  She takes care of me and my two younger brothers; she goes above and beyond to help us and make sure that we have a chance at whatever we want in life. We all miss my dad, but she tries to help in any way she can and that is more than I could ask from her.

I was devastated when I lost my dad. It hurt for a long time, but I eventually found ways to cope. I taught myself about suicide prevention and the warning signs.  I learn new things about suicide prevention and awareness every day. I ordered a pin that I wear on special days like his birthday, death day, suicide awareness week and survivors of suicide day. Having this knowledge and telling people about it helps me honor my dad.  I love to tell happy stories about my dad, like the time he took me to see Rob Thomas in concert or took me on a ride in the Memphis trolley for the first time. These memories help me smile and keep me going.

This experience has made me a much stronger person. It made me realize that I can go through anything and not give up. I wanted to make my daddy proud and I feel like I can say that I have. Even though I suffered a tremendous loss, on November 18^th, 2012, I gained an entire sisterhood with Delta Gamma. These women are one-of–a-kind and are always here to help me when I get sad about missing my dad. In fact, one sister, Kaley, understood more than anyone. Her father had passed away too and she understood what I was feeling. It was indescribable to finally find someone who could relate to my struggle.

Tressie Cochran, Delta Zeta- Memphis,  is a sophomore. She is majoring in Human Services and plans to work in the social work field. You can contact Tressie at Tressiecochran@yahoo.com.

According to the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention:                

“More than 36,000 people in the United States die by suicide every year. It is this country's 10th leading cause of death, and is often characterized as a response to a single event or set of circumstances. However, unlike these popular conceptions, suicide is a much more involved phenomenon. “

According to the National Institute of Mental Health Bi-Polar Disorder is defined as, “Bipolar disorder, also known as manic-depressive illness, is a brain disorder that causes unusual shifts in mood, energy, activity levels, and the ability to carry out day-to-day tasks.”

For information on bipolar disorder and suicide prevention click here:

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmedhealth/PMH0001924/

http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/

http://www.afsp.org/

Living as a Survivor

Margo Hunt can’t remember a time when she wasn’t a cancer survivor

Cancer has always been a familiar word in my vocabulary. I was only three months old when I was diagnosed. I cannot remember a time when I was not a survivor. I beat liver cancer by the time I was one, but the journey wasn’t over-it was just starting.

The battle with cancer never ends.

For years, survivors deal with side effects of the treatments. 

For me, it meant years of surgery.  I had tubes put in my ears right after I finished chemotherapy at age one. The idea was to prevent infections, but instead it caused my right eardrum to melt. To this day and despite reconstructive surgery, I still have a hole in my ear and significant hearing loss.  I am a 21-year-old woman, who wears a hearing aid. I walk straight thanks to surgeries that placed and then removed growth plates from my knees. A side effect of cancer is uneven growth on each side of your body.  The plates helped me stay even, while one side had time to catch up. It’s not a side effect you often hear of, but it happens and it makes adolescence that much harder.

Delta Omicron chapter members at the 2012 Morehead State University Relay for Life

  Margo is seventh from the left.

When I think about the medical care that I’ve had, the surgeries and challenges I’ve survived, I think of my parents. They are my biggest cheerleaders and standing next to them cheering me on, is my Delta Gamma family.

Now that I’ve beaten the disease, it is my mission to help create a world where my family, Delta Gamma sisters and friends never have to suffer from cancer.  I met Delta Gamma in the fall of 2009; I fell in love and felt at home instantly.  I knew this group of women would not only accept me, but provide me with my home away from home. 

During the past three years, I’ve worked diligently in the fight against cancer. I hosted fundraisers and helped spread awareness.  Delta Gamma provided me with the foundation of support I needed during my philanthropic endeavors.  I received support not only from my chapter, but chapters across the United States.  By sharing my story in the 2010 winter issue of the ANCHORA I was able to connect with fellow cancer survivor and Gamma Mu-Florida State alumna, Diem Brown. Diem was on the MTV Real World/Road Rules challenges while undergoing her treatment.  Her hope and strength made her a huge role model for me as a 16-year-old getting a hearing aid.  Also, this past summer I was offered an internship with St. Jude Children’s Research Hospital in the San Francisco, California fundraising office.  Through Twitter I was able to connect with the San Francisco alumnae group.  They were extremely helpful in my search to find temporary housing in the area.  While I did not end up taking the internship, the support I received from that group is something I will cherish forever.   

Right now I’m interning for the American Cancer Society. My main job was to host the 2012 Morehead State University Relay for Life. The event was an immense success, with much credit going to my Delta Omicron-Morehead State sisters.  Delta Gamma had the highest fundraising total and the funniest “on the hour” event which made the Relay extremely rewarding. However, the real reward was the reminder of how much Delta Gamma means to me.  During the “in honor” lap, all of my Delta Omicron sisters walked around me;  some had tears in their eyes and some held my hand and hugged me, but as we walked past the glowing bag with my name on it, we were all thankful.

Margo Hunt, Delta Omicron–Morehead State, is a cancer survivor living in Morehead, Kentucky. She is senior history major. She has future plans to attend law school. You can reach Margo at mahunt@moreheadstate.edu.

According to the U.S. National Library of Medicine, Hepatocellular carcinoma accounts for most liver cancers. This type of cancer occurs more often in men than women. It is usually seen in people age 50 or older.

For more information on Hepatocellular carcinoma:

http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/liver-cancer/DS00399

Why Founders Day is celebrated in March

The celebration of Founders Day is one of the most precious traditions of Delta Gamma Fraternity.  Since its inception in 1887, collegiate and alumnae groups have observed this occasion with banquets, luncheons or other appropriate celebrations.  It has been a day for reunions with other members and a time for renewal and rededication to the Fraternity and its ideals.  Traditionally held on or near March 15, the date was chosen by Eta chapter, University of Akron.

It was Abby Soule, former ANCHORA Editor, who first publicized the idea for a celebration when she made a plea in 1887 for a reunion day to be reserved for all Delta Gammas.  Since our founding at Christmas time was not a good time to celebrate, Eta chapter introduced this idea at the 1888 Convention, noting that their chapter was already observing it on March 15, the date of its charter.  The 1888 Convention decreed that all chapters should observe a special day and Founders Day was established.

Founders Day is dignified and inspirational in nature and usually consists of a roll call by chapters and an inspirational talk given by a member or outstanding speaker.  News of the Fraternity and local accomplishments and events, recognition of members for outstanding achievement and service, plus recognition of anniversary members, and activities which serve to renew pride in and devotion to the Fraternity are included in the program.  This year marks our 140th anniversary, reason for a grand celebration!

Marilyn Haas, Alpha Rho-Ohio Wesleyan, is the Fraternity archivist at EO. She lives in Columbus, Ohio with her husband. You can reach Marilyn at Marilyn@deltagamma.org.

History is What's Happening Today

At Convention 2012, Fraternity Archivist Marilyn Haas assembled a small exhibit of clothing, jewelry, and other items connected to early Delta Gammas.  I was especially touched when one attendee joyously hugged the display case holding the battered tin lock box our Founders had purchased to hold their club's most important papers.  That humble artifact gave her a direct connection to Anna, Eva, and Mary.

The tin lock box is currently on display in the archives at EO.

Similarly, items owned by or stories about significant sisters like Ruth Billow (who started us on the road to Service for Sight), actresses Eva Marie Saint or Sabrina Bryan, or Congresswomen Mary Landrieu and Kelly Ayottet make our Fraternity's history real.  But history isn't just what happened in 1873 and it's not just famous people.

If you stumbled on your mom's diary, would you read it?  Of course you would!  The musings about the people she met, the parties she attended, even the chores she did and the weather she observed, would be fascinating -- a glimpse into life "back then."

Most issues of the ANCHORA from 1884 to 1939 are now available on Google Books, with more to come.  These magazines are filled with letters between chapters discussing football outings, rush parties, social events, and even weddings and funerals of sisters.  They make for captivating reading.  Yet there's very little chance that these correspondents, or your mom with her diary, imagined they were "writing history."

That's because, in the truest sense, history is what's happening today.  In fact, thanks to pervasive technology, it feels like everything happens faster than ever before.  But distressingly, that very technology is contributing to the loss of our recent history.  Although they say things on the Internet never really go away, they aren't exactly "curated," either.  Facebook posts get buried under the day's newest blurbs.  Instant messages and tweets hit the ether and are gone in an instant.  Digital photos lurk in cameras or phones but are rarely printed out and scrap-booked.  Our memories are becoming ephemeral.

What this means is that the newest pages of our history are blank.  Today's collegians may not think their recruitment parties or Anchor Games or philanthropy projects are "historic," but they surely will be in a few years.  When your little's little's little is being initiated, what you did today will be history to her.

It is important to keep records of our activities.  Delta Gamma has 21 chapters that are at least 100 years old; of those, 10 have celebrated their 125th anniversary!  These milestones are typically marked with the reading or publication of detailed chapter histories.  I can say from experience that it's getting harder and harder to fill in the last couple of decades' worth of events now that we no longer live in an ink-and-paper age.

Some chapters (I'm looking at you, Alpha Tau, Gamma Mu, Eta Delta, Sigma, and Gamma Nu!) have a keen awareness of the richness of their chapter legacy. More often, though, CDCs report little or no awareness of the need to keep track of chapter histories. That's why we've created a new requirement for the collegiate vp: Communications and their crews, a report in eOps+ called "Update chapter annual history." This brief report is due at the end of each semester. It asks about activities, member accomplishments, housing, awards, and other achievements. The information gathered is kept on file. Ultimately, it will serve the same purpose as the folders full of dance cards, initiation luncheon invitations, and newspaper clippings at the Frances Lewis Stevenson Archives at EO -- helping to paint the fullest picture of life in each of our chapter.*

March is "Women's History Month."  We, the women of Delta Gamma, are making history every day.  Let's make sure that the women who follow us are able to read, enjoy, and learn from the narrative we're writing today.

* And for the 18 chapters who still haven't done your Fall 2012 update, it's easy.  The director of chapter archives (alternately, the vp: communications) must log into eOps+.  Choose "Tasks" on the left-hand toolbar and you'll get a list of the forms that have been submitted or are due/past due.  Click on "Update Chapter Annual History - 12/1/2012."  The form itself is pretty much self-explanatory.  And remember -- the more detail you provide, the better your chapter's future history will read!  The next submission will be due this May.

Karen Ann Yaksich Kurlander, Beta Nu-Carnegie-Mellon, a freelance writer and self-proclaimed "history geek," spent 20 years doing public relations for various Bell System and Verizon companies, and then 10 years for the Morris County Historical Society at Acorn Hall.  The position of Director: Archives combines two of her great loves, Delta Gamma and old stuff.  You can reach Karen Ann at kakurlander@verizon.net.

Wear Your Badge with Pride

       We, as members of a women’s fraternity, have symbols of our membership. These symbols and their meanings are special and known only to us, those who have the privilege of wearing them, yet we wear them as demonstrated pride of our commitment to Delta Gamma. It is more than a piece of jewelry; it is a symbol of our love, devotion and pride.
Maureen Sweeney Syring, former Fraternity President, once said, “Our badge is our outward symbol of our inner commitment.” It is important to remember why we wear our badge and when we wear our badge. To wear our badge, you should be aligned with the meanings and purpose of Delta Gamma. The purpose of wearing our badge is to show our understanding, love and commitment for the organization and those things for which Delta Gamma stands. 
Consider this: you are always wearing your letters, but you should wear your badge to show your additional pride and love for the Fraternity and our mission and values.
When to wear your badge:
• Any time you are feeling your best, looking your best
• On chapter badge day to show pride in membership and the strength of the beliefs and commitment to Delta Gamma
• At formal chapter
• At Initiation
• At the Pi Alpha ceremony
• Founders Day
• Delta Gamma alumnae meeting
• Panhellenic meeting or gathering
• Delta Gamma memorial service or funeral
When it’s not a great idea to wear your badge:
• You just rolled out of bed and are not necessarily looking your personal best
• If you are having a really, really bad day and are in a not-so-good mood
• You are at a bar; you are drinking
• Your behavior is not reflective of Delta Gamma standards or values


FAQs:
Q: “I thought I could only wear my badge if I was wearing formal chapter attire like a dress.”
A: There is no Fraternity policy for badge attire. Each chapter has different dress requirements for formal chapter in its bylaws and standing rules. Some state dresses; some state no strapless dresses; some state business attire; some state nothing. The badge may be worn at any time, however, as long as you look neat, polished and presentable and your behavior reflects the standards of the Fraternity. 

Q: “Is there a specific place I have to wear my badge?”
A: The badge may be worn anywhere, as specific in Fraternity policy. It may be worn as a pendant, on a bracelet or as a pin. If it is worn as a pin, it is over the heart. A helpful tip for placement: place your thumb on your throat, right above the sternum, spread out your palm, and place the badge where the base of the pinky finger meets the base of the fourth finger.

Q: “I never ordered a badge. Is it too late for me to get one?”
A: Any initiated member of Delta Gamma Fraternity may order a badge at any time from the Fraternity jeweler, J. Brandt. www.jbrandt.com

Q: “I cannot afford a badge.”
A: J. Brandt offers a sterling silver badge option for only $45. For the price of a few lattes, you can have your badge for a lifetime.

Q: “I am in poor standing and on probation with my chapter. I was told I cannot wear my badge.
A: Only members in good standing may wear the Delta Gamma badge. When a member is no longer on probation, she may again wear her badge with pride and as emblem of aligning with the standards of membership and the values and meanings of the Fraternity.

Q: My friend resigned her membership, but she still wants her badge. Is that okay?
A: If someone is no longer a member of the Fraternity, she may not wear the badge. A badge must be returned to Executive Offices if a member resigns or is expelled.  By owning or wearing a badge, a woman is demonstrating her beliefs and values are in line with those of the Fraternity and she agrees to uphold the meanings and secrets of Delta Gamma. If she no longer is a member, these no longer apply, and her badge must be surrendered.

Staige Davis Hodges, Beta Theta-Duke, is the Fraternity Director of Scholarship and Rituals. You can reach Staige at edurituals@deltgammma.org. 

Career Change Has DG Alum "Doing Good"

“All journeys have secret destinations of which the traveler is unaware.”

– Martin Buber

If you’re a Delta Gamma, chances are you’re a well-rounded woman. The sorority has a wonderful international reputation, and so the women who choose it in college are probably ones who desire high-quality organizations. Then there is the Delta Gamma experience. While in a sorority in college, there are more than just classes. There are formal meetings, social gatherings, philanthropic events and rituals. After a Delta Gamma has graduated from college, she’s been groomed to be multifaceted and have many interests. This, combined with studies showing women have much less linear career paths than men, means that Delta Gammas are likely to have at least one career change in their lifetimes.

Take me for instance; I've recently changed careers. I am a Delta Gamma from Zeta Iota chapter at Chapman University in Orange County, California. I went from a career in marketing communications to teaching at the graduate and undergraduate levels. I worked full-time and went to school full-time at Pepperdine University for five years just because I love learning. Toward the end of completion of my doctorate degree, I got called in for a teaching interview at a local university and I was hired to teach on the spot. I had never thought of myself as a teacher, but it turns out it’s what I had been training for all this time. Also, I believe I received an aptitude to teach because my mom and husband, two of the people closest to me, are both teachers. Perhaps I partially acquired the aptitude to be a teacher subliminally through them.

You might be wondering how things went in the classroom. Well, it was love from the very first time I taught. One of the things that all Delta Gammas are taught is to “Do Good.” Teaching is all about doing good. In fact, if you’re not there to do good as a teacher, you shouldn't be in the classroom.

One of my friends is a compensation director. She is analytical and plans things down to the last detail. She recently had a baby and was extremely worried about doing everything right. When she told this to her doctor, he told her not to worry so much about doing everything right because it’s just not possible. The way to good parenting, he said, is to parent from the heart. The same thing goes for teaching. As long as you teach from the heart, the rest comes naturally. Looking back, I also realize that since I went to school while working full-time, I was able to practice what I was learning in my job.

The point of this story is to tell you that if you’d like to change careers, have confidence in yourself. If you’ve been through college as a Delta Gamma, chances are you've done many different things already. You probably know much more than you think you know. If you’re thinking about a new career, what are some things you’ve done in your current career that can apply to the new one you desire? Some of the things that transferred for me were strong interpersonal and communication skills and patience. Skills like these are essential to do almost any job well. The rest comes with practice.

Women are often socialized at a young age to ask people if they’re doing things the right way and not to do things unless they’re perfect. Men, on the other hand, are taught to just do it, and they are allowed to fake it till they make it. You can’t learn unless you make mistakes. So, go out there and follow your dreams. You’re a DG! You can do it!

Dr. Margaret Moodian, Zeta Iota-Chapman, and her husband, Dr. Michael Moodian, live in Orange County, California with their rescue dog, Manny, and chinchilla, Marshall. You can reach Margaret at mminni100@hotmail.com or follow her on Twitter @mminni100.

From Childhood to Adulthood, Love Conquers All

“Long distance is hard. You have to trust that as you each change on your own, your relationship will also change along with you. It takes hope, good humor, and idealism. It takes a massive dose of courage to protect the relationship at all odds. It is hard, but worth it.
You'll both be stronger as a result.”
― Craig M. Mullaney, The Unforgiving Minute: A Soldier's Education

Playing nicely as kids

When I was a little girl, I had no idea that my brother’s friend would be the love of my life. When we were young; it was about playing and laughing and me being the pesky little sister. It is funny to look back and think of those days and to see where Alex and I are today. Today Alex is my best friend, my hero and my rock. Sometimes I wonder if we would be in love today if our families had not grown apart for nine years.

Curiosity and technology is what brought us back together. Our mothers have been friends since they were in seventh grade and it was their friendship that inspired me to reconnect all of us after too many years apart. When I got the idea to contact him, I was afraid he wouldn’t remember me. I had nothing to worry about. It was like no time had passed. From the moment he wrote, "I remember you," we wrote to each other every day. At first, I was only interested in reuniting our mothers; but, it was when I saw him in person for the first time in nine years that everything changed.

Lance Corporal Alex Sanford

Looking at him took me back to the beach, to his backyard and to the childhood we shared. We were taller, of course, but he was the same Alex. The biggest difference, he was on leave from Camp Lejeune. He is a Marine now. He proudly serves our nation and it’s one of the reasons that I love him so much. He asked me out on an official date during that week at home and we’ve been together ever since. It’s the most challenging, but rewarding relationship I’ve ever had. We are far apart and only see each other for a week or so every few months, but the distance does indeed make my heart grow fonder. His deployment is around the corner and he needs me now more than ever. I do worry every day about it and I am scared, but I could not imagine my future without him. I will do whatever it takes to get through the hard moments and be able to enjoy the happy ones. For Christmas, he surprised me with a deployment ring. It’s not an engagement ring, but rather a promise. A promise to come home to me, a promise to love me and it’s my promise to pray for him, wait for him and support him. What started as a play date, is now two adults, planning their future together, hand-in-hand. I’ve learned that everything really does happen for a reason and that it paid to play nice as a kid.

Stephanie Bergeron, Eta Beta-Hartford, is a sophomore majoring in business marketing. She is from Massachusetts and adores her dog, Penny. Her boyfriend Lance Corporal Alex Sanford is in the United States Marine Corp. He deploys in April. You can reach Stephanie at distanceistemporary@gmail.com.

Quotes for a DG

 @quotesforadg

Member behind popular Twitter account says it was a rough start

We’re all on Twitter and when Delta Gammas look at their feeds, I wanted them to find positive words about our Fraternity. I’ll be the first to admit that on my social media journey, I made some rookie mistakes.

My idea was to create a Twitter account that is based on quotes that would suit a DG sister. I came up with the handle @quotesforadg.

It started with tweets that said "Do Good" and "Delta Gamma is what I amma." I followed a few sisters to start my follower base. I never imagined that my account would grow to be so popular.

But; I made my first mistake just a couple weeks into the project. I didn’t think it was a big deal to start re-tweeting groups like "Total Sorority Move" and "Total Fraternity Move." I just wanted to gain followers and I know those accounts are popular. What I didn’t take into account was that some of the tweets weren’t in line with Delta Gamma values; I found that out first hand when I was contacted by DG Leaders.

It’s hard to take criticism about a project, especially when you think you are “Doing Good.” I listened to the women who contacted me and I started to understand why some of the things that I posted in the name of Delta Gamma were causing a stir, and not in a good way.

I was told by one leader: “I love that you are so willing to remain positive and be a positive voice for women who are members of DG. Just some requests from one Twitter fan to another:

 

1. Try not to talk negatively about other groups by saying DG is the best. Be Panhellenic and show some love to other groups.
2. Please watch your language.
3. No RT’ing TSM’s. I only saw two but those are not what we are about. They make jokes that don’t help our reputation
4. Use your platform for good things, goodwill and good news about what it means to be in Delta Gamma. I BELIEVE IN YOU!”

When I first read this, I was taken back a little bit. It didn’t even occur to me what I was tweeting. I went through those tweets and deleted them. Now, I refrain from quoting TSM (who doesn’t help Greek Life reputations), using inappropriate language and saying how Delta Gamma is the best.

What I do, is try to enforce Greek unity because we are all Greek together! Like one of my favorite quotes, “These letters don’t make me better than you; they make me better than I used to be.”

The emails and conversations from Delta Gamma leaders changed me for the better online.

Women my age often think it’s OK to post whatever they feel and think that future employers can’t see it -- which is far from the truth. As another woman told me, “Your social media footprint will follow you like your shadow, you might not always see it, but it’s there.” Remember, you’re always wearing your letters!

Since that conversation in early July, I now have more than 2,100 followers. I am so blessed for having so many supporters and all of my followers inspire me every day and make me glad I became a Delta Gamma.

 

My main point of having this account was to connect sisters all over the world to each other over a common but strong thread: our love for Delta Gamma. Whether the tweets are about This Day in DG History, song lyrics, fast facts, or an overall Delta Gamma quote, I hope they instill the pride in each and everyone one of you for being a member of such a great organization.

 

As I said, Delta Gamma doesn’t make me better than those who aren’t; they make me better than the person I used to be.

Kaylin Marques, Eta Beta–Hartford, is double majoring in marketing and communications with a minor in finance. She plans to work as an event planner. You can contact Kaylin at kaylin.marques@gmail.com or follow her on Twitter @quotesforadg.
For a list of some of the most common mistakes made on Twitter, click here:

http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-505125_162-57555884/4-annoying-things-youre-probably-doing-on-twitter/

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/heather-dugan/social-media-advice_b_2094374.html

It was an event that lasted 10 seconds

It was an event that lasted 10 seconds. In 10 seconds, I shattered my spine, tore every muscle in my back, bruised my legs so badly they were as dark as night and had doctors baffled. Why wasn’t I paralyzed? Why wasn’t I crying? How did I survive this fall from a cliff? I look back on the past year, the losses and bills piled up and I wondered, “What did I do to deserve this?” When the world finally stopped spinning around me, I started to have Hope. This story really starts when I was just a wide-eyed freshman looking to fit in. Delta Gamma took me in and took me on the journey of sisterhood:

When people think of a sorority girl, the stereotype is a beautiful woman with perfectly straight teeth, perfect hair and the perfect personality. Let’s be honest; that’s not me and that’s not women. We have bad hair days-I’m having one right now. We get lettuce stuck in our teeth; hmmm, maybe I should go brush. And we tell jokes that aren’t always funny. We run around our high school in a bunny costume, for no reason, wait, ok, maybe that was just me.

When I heard of the sororities at the University of Alabama, Birmingham, I thought it would be a great way to start over and reinvent myself into the cooler, hipper version of myself that I’d never really been able to pull off.

During recruitment, the glitz, glamor, and girls with perfect teeth talking to me made me feel special. I felt like I was finally someone worth noticing. Everything changed when I walked into the Delta Gamma room.

Kristen Iqal

Delta Gamma was different than any other room I went into. When the women were singing their door song about their “sidekick Hannah,” I was like, “I don’t know who this Hannah girl is but she must be pretty awesome for them to chant about her.” I sat down with a girl named Kirstin, who is now my big sister. I was intimidated; she is gorgeous and I felt awkward. But we started laughing, talking and cried during preference ceremony. I thought if these girls are all like her, I could get the hang of this sidekick Hannah deal.

Delta Gamma didn’t care what type of designer bag I carried, that I like cats way too much, and that I tell horrible jokes. Delta Gamma cared about the woman I am aspiring to be, the leadership skills I wish to gain from college, and best of all, how I could make Delta Gamma grow. I knew from the first day; I wanted Delta Gamma and nothing else.

Since the day I received my pink and blue bid, my life has been filled with so many inside jokes, late-night study sessions, and shoulders I’ve rested my head on during sisterhood movie nights. I didn’t lose myself by joining Delta Gamma. I grew into the woman I am today and my sisters have accepted me for me.

I never realized how important that would be. My sisterhood was put to the test on May 21, 2011, a terrifying day in my life. That is the day I broke my back in a cliff diving accident. The doctors still can’t believe I’m alive today. My sisters have been my strength though all of this.

Through all of the physical pain, mental struggle and emotional pressure, there is always a Delta Gamma to pick me up when my knees hit the ground. Doctors said it would be nearly a year before I could learn to walk again. My sisters, ever hopeful, wouldn’t take no for an answer and pushed me through my physical therapy. In just two months, I was out of my brace, off my walker and taking steps on my own.

These women are my guardian angels on speed dial. Just as I thought I was going to be ok, my father was in an accident of his own. He was broken from head to toe and in a coma. My father is awake now, but is paralyzed. While my father fought for his life in a coma, my grandfather lost his. I had to tell my father this when he woke up.

The combination of my injury, my father’s accident and my grandfather’s death left me with a lot of bills to pay. I work 65 hours a week at two jobs to help support my family, attend class and work through my own physical limitations. I want to scream when I get out of bed at the sharp pains that shoot through my back.

But through it all, Delta Gamma has been there. My sisters were the first to reach out, the first to help me heal and I know they’ll be there forever.

I’ve only had 20 years on this planet, but I feel like I’ve lived a lot. The best part of this life has been finding Delta Gamma.

Delta Gammas know the warmth and generosity of this Fraternity. I know I am not the only one who would not have made it through the hardship and pain if a golden anchor wasn’t proudly pinned on my chest. Delta Gamma is a rock for thousands of my sisters, and I am proud I have found my home.

Kristen Iqal, Zeta Xi-Alabama, Birmingham, is a senior majoring in healthcare management. She hopes to pursue a career in hospital and health administration. Her younger sister is also a member of the same chapter. You can reach Kristen at kmiqal@uab.edu.

Annie: Anchored in Hope, Strength and Life

Annie with her brother Steve

DG Alumna Doesn’t Let Cancer Dampen her
Vibrant Spirit

I wanted to take the opportunity to share the amazing accomplishments of Epsilon Epsilon alumna Annie Goodman. Annie, a 2004 Tennessee Technological University graduate, was diagnosed with Triple Negative Breast Cancer at the young age of 30. She currently lives in New York City and is a producer for “Your World with Neil Cavuto” at Fox News Channel.

Since her diagnosis in February 2012, she started a blog on Tumblr (http://anniegoodman.tumblr.com) to share her story and experience with others.

Here’s an except from her first blog entry: “The pathologist is in the room looking at the slides of the sample as soon as they’re ready. She then says they need to do more invasive biopsies because the first ones are suspicious. I again ask, “for what, malignancy?” She bluntly responds, “Yes.” This is when it starts to hit me what’s going on. I’m 30 years old and about to be diagnosed with breast cancer. They ask if I am there alone. I say yes and then call my brother to come up. I know I cannot be alone when I am given this diagnosis. More biopsies are done and I could see on the looks of their faces this is not at all how I thought things would go. I get dressed, cry a lot, and head into the radiologist’s office. That’s when it’s confirmed: I am 30 years old and have breast cancer. I made an appointment to meet with the surgeon first thing the next morning. I am warned I will need surgery and chemotherapy. Then I start making the calls and sending the emails. I try to remain calm. It’s not easy.”

Fellow Epsilon Epsilon alumnae Crystal Bishop Piper and Jackie Parnell Crouch set up a www.gofundme.com account titled “Do Good for Annie Goodman” dedicated to Annie which provided a way for her fellow Delta Gamma sisters to “Do Good” in her honor and provide financial support to her throughout her battle. “Do Good for Annie Goodman” (www.gofundme.com/gllb8) helped raise $4,570.00 that went directly to Annie to help pay for medical costs as well as purchase wigs and other necessities. Since February, Annie has received a bilateral mastectomy (she donated the tissue to research), completed chemotherapy and has now started radiation. She has been dedicated to raising awareness of Triple Negative Breast Cancer through her blog, and became involved with the Triple Negative Breast Cancer Foundation. During the month of October, Annie was in the survivor spotlight on the “Stupid Cancer Show” blogcast (http://www.blogtalkradio.com/stupidcancershow/2012/10/22/maura-tierney-pinkwashing-1) and has published two articles on foxnews.com: “In the fight of her life: Triple negative breast cancer at 30” (http://www.foxnews.com/health/2012/10/01/in-fight-her-life-triple-negative-breast-cancer-at-30/), and “A simple blood test: Genetic mutations and breast cancer” (http://www.foxnews.com/health/2012/10/22/simple-blood-test-genetic-mutations-and-breast-cancer/).

The Pink Beauties

Annie is now cancer free and in remission. Feeling like a “work in progress,” she is looking forward to March when she can say she is one-year “cancer free,” but she says “the transition to real life as a ‘survivor’ is not easy.” In addition to battling an aggressive cancer, Annie was recently impacted by Hurricane Sandy. Her hometown of Massapequa, NY, was leveled. Thankfully, the NYC Cancer Center was spared of any damage so she only missed one week of radiation. Annie stayed in NYC during Hurricane Sandy to work, which included covering the hurricane and the presidential election. I cannot express in words how proud I am of Annie’s bravery and willingness to share her story with others. She has taken a horrible situation and found a way to “Do Good.” Annie is not only an inspiration; she is the embodiment of true Delta Gamma spirit: full of hope, full of strength, and full of life!

Crystal Bishop Piper, Epsilon Epsilon-Tennessee Tech, graduated in 2003. She recently got married and lives with her husband Jared in Murfreesboro, Tennessee. Crystal works for the city of Franklin, Tennessee as a biologist. You can reach Crystal at: clbishop21@yahoo.com. For more information on triple negative breast cancer: http://www.tnbcfoundation.org/
 
 
Pictured top right: Annie and her brother Steve Goodman at the Triple Negative Breast Cancer Foundation Benefit.
 
Pictured below: The “Pink Beauties” participate in the Susan G. Komen Nashville Race for the Cure in Honor of Annie. L-R: Jackie Parnell Crouch (Epsilon Epsilon), Samantha Brazelton, Bethann Kelley, Crystal Bishop Piper (Epsilon Epsilon), and Stephanie Vaughn Clark (Epsilon Epsilon).

Mrs. Steely

Mr. and Mrs. Steely

By Kimberly Cindle Rieger,
Alpha Iota-Oklahoma

Have you ever known someone you respect so much you’ve never used their first name? For me and countless other women from Alpha Iota-Oklahoma, that person is Kathryn Copple Steely. It feels strange, even now at 41 years old and serving as chapter adviser, using her full name. We always knew her first name was Kathryn, but we never used it. To us, she was always “Mrs. Steely.”

Mrs. Steely was a member of Alpha Iota-Oklahoma house corporation board during my collegiate years and in the year prior, spearheaded a massive bond campaign to fund a multi-million dollar renovation of the chapter house. Alumnae from that time have often said, “Mrs. Steely convinced every Delta Gamma she knew to purchase a bond.” Her leadership during the renovation and support of the chapter through difficult times in the mid 1990’s were instrumental to Alpha Iota’s future success. Mrs. Steely was vital not only to Alpha Iota’s operations, but also as a role model. Through her actions, Mrs. Steely showed us how to be gracious, how to fulfill a promise of lifelong service to the Fraternity – how to “Do Good.”  



Kathryn Copple Steely, AI-Oklahoma

I wish Mrs. Steely could see Alpha Iota now – a house still beautiful 24 years after the renovation, one of the largest chapters in the country, full of young women she would have been thoroughly enjoyed. Today’s collegians would love her as much as we did, and without a doubt, they would call her “Mrs. Steely.”

Kathryn Copple Steely, Alpha Iota-Oklahoma, died on Dec. 31, 2012, after an extended struggle with dementia. She is survived by three children, including Ann Steely McGehee, Alpha Iota-Oklahoma. Kathryn was a Cable Award recipient and devoted volunteer.