Hazing from a Parent’s Perspective

Hazing is usually associated with fraternity/sorority life; however, national data on hazing reflects that almost half of all college students report having experienced hazing prior to college. According to HazingPrevention.Org, hazing is defined as: any action taken or situation created intentionally causes harm to members of a group or team regardless of the person's willingness to participate. You may assume that your child has the intelligence and confidence to prevent him or her from falling prey to such a situation. The desire to fit in, however, can be a powerful motivator. 

Hazing may be suspected if:
1.) Your child suddenly seems reluctant to talk especially about club or team related activities. 
2.) Your child becomes particularly annoyed, irritated or anxious when you talk with her about club or team activities. 
3.) You note changes in his or her moods. If there are significant changes in patterns of eating or sleeping. 
4.) He or she presents as distracted or distant especially when you try to talk about them club or team events.
5.) His or her academic performance suddenly declines. 
6.) There is an increase in physical complaints and/or he or she requires hospitalization due to an unexplained physical injury or alcohol abuse.

You can help prevent hazing by discussing the topic with your child. If your child is now in a leadership role in an organization or team, you have a real opportunity to engage in the prevention process.

Talk with your child about hazing. Let him know that he or she has a responsibility to model appropriate behavior to other members. Remind your child that leadership is about helping others learn through his or her example. It’s not about abusing power in order to demand respect.

Hazing is an archaic and horrific practice. Parents can play a pivotal role in the intervention and prevention of hazing practices.

Jennifer Powell-Lunder, Epsilon Gamma-Virginia,  is the Program Director of the Lodge Adolescent Inpatient Unit at For Winds Hospital.  Jennifer is also a parenting expert consulting and writing for Yahoo!, The Christian Science Monitor, USA Today, Parenting Magazine, The Wall Street Journal, CBS, ABC, NBC, and FOX.  She is the creator of www.itsatweenlife.com and www.talkingteenage.com. Jennifer earned her masters in school psychology and her doctorate in school-clinical child psychology from Pace University.  She is currently at adjunct professor at Pace.  

Vote to give DG businesswoman a Super Bowl commercial

While vacationing in Sydney, Australia walking along Manley Bay I met two guys in a Parker’s Organic Juice truck. Little did I know one taste of this refreshing organic fruit juice would change my life forever. I gave up my successful career in corporate America, to pursue the American dream; I started my own business to follow my passion and labor of love. I import Parker’s Organic Juices into the US, which launched at Whole Foods in Atlanta, GA over two years ago. Currently it’s sold at Whole Foods (9 states) and natural/organic shops across the country. 

Intuit is hosting a competition for small businesses to win a Super Bowl commercial courtesy of Intuit! This is an amazing opportunity for Parker's Organic Juices! I submitted my business story and need your help by voting daily and spreading the news!

You can vote DAILY until September 22nd! I put a daily reminder in my calendar :) Please share on Facebook, Twitter & Instagram!

You can find the link to vote and share:
https://www.smallbusinessbiggame.com/ga/Parkers-Organic-Juices-/376531

Facebook | Parker's Organic Juices-USA
Twitter | @ParkersOrgUSA
Instagram | parkersorganicjuicesusa

Michele Peplinski, Delta Nu-Northern Illinois, can be reached by emailing: mpepatlanta@yahoo.com.
 

DGs Meet Sailing Abroad

From the beginning, I was told that Delta Gamma is a close-knit yet far-reaching community of like-minded women.

As a collegiate member of Delta Iota chapter, I began to see that this was a very true statement, meeting Delta Gamma women almost everywhere I went in the United States.

Through these experiences I grew to know the strength of Delta Gamma, but it was not until this past school year that I understood how easy it is to find and connect with like-minded Delta Gamma women.

I am currently studying abroad on a program called Semester at Sea. Each voyage has a group page on Facebook , which is used for communication amongst students. One student posted a question asking about Greek life affiliations . I proudly shared my Delta Gamma affiliation and was amazed when my comment got several likes in quick succession. I learned that these women were active Delta Gammas across the nation. I began talking with one girl named Anna, from the chapter at UConn. We agreed to meet in London and spend the first few days together before the voyage departed. Although I had never met Anna, I could trust that because she is a Delta Gamma that we would get along- and we have! We had great fun seeing Big Ben, riding the London Eye and seeing many other sights in London. In fact, as I sit here on the deck writing this blog, Anna is siting next to me working on homework for one of her classes.

I know there are many more Delta Gammas on the ship and I have been fortunate to run into and have conversations with many of them. It is a great comfort knowing that on this grand of an adventure, that I am surrounded by like-minded Delta Gamma women. Delta Gamma is truly forever, everywhere, and always.  

Morgan Kemper, Delta Iota- University of Georgia, is a junior double majoring in Social Work and Sociology.  She is currently pursuing her passions for travel and understanding new cultures by studying abroad with Semester at Sea. She can be reached at morgan.kemper.fa13@semesteratsea.org

The Importance of Breaking the Silence

After finishing my junior year in college, I went out to celebrate with my best friend. A night out on the town quickly changed when my friends had to report me missing. After several hours I was found partially naked, assaulted and raped. I then went through a rollercoaster of emotions learning and transforming from a victim to a survivor.

I turned to the internet for information where I learned the alarming statistic of 1 in 5 women will be sexually assaulted during college. Reading the statistic I knew I needed to share my story to bring awareness. 

The first time I publicly told my story was on my campus at Take Back the Night. The room was packed with students. After sharing my story, it was the first time I truly understood the importance of breaking the silence. A young woman came up to me after I had spoke, tears rolling down her face and all she said was “Thank you.” Still to this day I don’t know who she was but I knew in that moment I had to continue to share my story with both men and women across the world.

This was a horrific incident that happened to me but I believe it happened for a reason. This incident gave me a new passion in life. I share my story because I see how it connects people, it lets victims know they are not alone and it’s not their fault and it empowers bystanders to step up to prevent sexual violence.

Almost five years after my sexual assault, on April 1st, 2013 I launched my website telling my story to the world. It was one of the scariest things I have ever done in my life. 

To learn more visit www.SabrinaSadler.com

Sabrina Sadler, Delta Eta -California State, Sacramento, shares her story and hopes to bring awareness, breakdown myths, educate and help each community understand their role in preventing violence. 

#IAmASororityWoman

I Believe in bettering men and women. I Believe in not hazing. I Believe in standing up for what's right. I Believe in living out the values I stand by. 

I Believe in tearing down stereotypes. I Believe in reaching out and helping others. I Believe in making a difference. I Believe in fun times had by all. 

I Believe in lifelong friendships, memories, and networks. I Believe in a better tomorrow. I Believe in individuality and diversity. 

I Believe in being positive and encouragement. I Believe in guiding people to reach their highest potential. 

I Believe in joining Greek organizations and I Believe these organizations help you find who you are, better yourself, help you in the future, and give you a sense of eternity. Furthermore, I Believe in "Doing Good."

#IAmASororityWoman

Shelby Bounds, Delta Zeta-Memphis was recently  voted by her sisters to attend a UIFI session. During the session, she created the above "I Believe" statements. They are statements in which she fully believes in.

Carly Speaks: Taking A Bite Out of the Big Apple "Give My Regards to Broadway"

A New York City icon is without a doubt Broadway. The term refers to both the street itself and also the plays and musicals that take place in the Theater District (yes, Broadway runs right through it). I remember the very first time I came to New York City at the ripe age of 13, I saw my first two Broadway shows: Hairspray and Chicago. I immediately fell in love with Hairspray; I purchased the original cast's recording of all the songs and even bought the musical's poster. For weeks I would listen to the music and after a while I knew all the words to every song. After seeing Hairspray I knew I had a newfound love for Broadway.

Since moving to New York, I hadn't taken advantage of the fact that the Theater District is a few blocks from my office until a few weeks ago. My mom has been in town for a while and we decided we wanted to see Jersey Boys. I had heard amazing reviews from every person I talked to who had seen it and we were able to get great seats at an even better price. We sat in the front row of the mezzanine and had an unobstructed view of the entire production. The show retells the story of Frankie Valli and the Four Seasons and how they rose to fame. From start to finish Jersey Boys was entertaining. I especially loved the authenticity in their Jersey accents. But the one thing that made this show spectacular was John Lloyd Young starring as Frankie Valli. Young's voice was incredibly similar to the real Frankie Valli and the first time he came out on stage and sang, I got chills. The great part about the show was that even though I wasn't alive during the time the Four Seasons were at their peak, I still knew most of the songs. I would highly recommend Jersey Boys to anyone who is a lover of good music and all around amazing time.

 

For some unknown reason, my mom and I decided to see another show a few days after seeing Jersey Boys. My boss had recommended I see Once, which was previously a movie (which I had no idea before he mentioned it) and he also mentioned that the main song, Falling Slowly, is really popular. Intrigued, my mom and I bought tickets and took a leap of faith to see yet another Tony award winning show. I can say without hesitation that Once is by far my favorite Broadway show I've ever seen. I am still listening to the soundtrack over and over again. Once is a story about a guy who is trying to make it big with his music, but he is missing something. Enters girl (the characters don't have names!) and she becomes his advocate and champion. The most amazing part about this musical is that there are only 10 people in the cast and they play their own music live on stage; there isn't an orchestra whatsoever! The entire show I was mesmerized by the beautiful music and pure voices of the cast. If music along the lines of Jack Johnson or John Mayer strikes a chord in your life, seeing Once needs to be on your bucket list.

I'm still in disbelief that I have (hypothetically) unlimited access  to some of the best entertainment in the world. Broadway helps define New York City, and I'm lucky enough to call this place my home. 

Everything Happens For A Reason

In November 2011 I was diagnosed with breast cancer at the age of 28. While this was a very shocking and devastating time for me, I pulled a lot of my strength from my family, close friends, Delta Gamma sisters, and also Giuliana Rancic; whose battle was very similar to mine. It was a dream of mine to meet and talk to her to share our stories of survival & strength.

One of my best DG sisters, Ashley, informed me that Giuliana would be speaking at the Lectureship at OU. Knowing how important it was for me to meet Giuliana, Ashley graciously arranged our trip to attend the lectureship. The ladies of Alpha Iota did not disappoint and the reception & lectureship was beautiful. Giuliana arrived in a whirlwind of smiles, laughter and cameras. We were allowed a few brief minutes to chat and I will never forget those fleeting moments; my heart was so content. She genuinely cared about how I was doing and was very sympathetic to all that I'd been through. I felt like I could've sat and talked to her for hours over coffee!   

Even though our conversation was short yet sweet, I will never forget our time together and the quick bond we shared. Giuliana was so graceful and down to earth. Beautiful inside just as much as she is outside; her compassionate soul radiated the entire time we spoke. I am forever grateful for this experience-- to Ashley and to my other Delta Gamma sisters for making my dream become a reality!

Anne Embry, Gamma Tau-Texas Christian is an Air Force wife and stay-at-home-mom to a spunky preschooler. She dedicates her free time to raising awareness for early detection of breast cancer; it saved her own life. She can be reached at anneembry@gmail.com or her blog at www.annefightsback.blogspot.com

For our DGs who are retired or are considering it

“The trouble with retirement is that you never get a day off.”

– Abe Lemons

When I was asked to do a blog post about retirement, I wasn’t sure if I was up to the task because I’m not retired. Upon more contemplation on the issue, I decided it would be exciting to do some research on the topic. In my doctoral studies, I focused primarily on interviewing for research. Interviews are wonderful, especially when one wants to get a glimpse of how someone got to be where they are. Retirement is also an appropriate topic for me because I get along with older individuals since I am an only child and am used to being around people at least 30 years older than me. For this post, I decided to interview a few people about their experiences with retirement, and I’ll share what I learned from them with you.

Why They Retired

The women I spoke with about retirement are in their sixties and worked in education and the nonprofit sectors. One of the women decided to retire because her father was in poor health and she wanted to care for him. Another was laid off from her teaching position, and after examining her finances, she realized that she could retire comfortably. One of the other women had a high-profile position with a local nonprofit and decided to retire after she had become burned out after working for so many years.

How They Keep Themselves Busy

Even the women who retired a few years ago are still getting adjusted to retirement since it is a significant life change. In fact, one of the women is thinking about going back to work part-time, probably as a substitute teacher since she loves being part of a learning community. She and the other women keep their ears to the ground about activities such as volunteering for nonprofit groups. Some other things that were brought up to keep the mind and body strong were getting involved in yoga, gardening and fencing, as well as adopting a dog that enjoys walks.

Words of Wisdom

One of the women interviewed said if retirement feels right, then go for it! It is extremely important to stay connected with friends and it takes real effort. Some great ways to do this are through email, phone and Facebook. If you’re finding the adjustment to retirement to be difficult, seek counseling or support groups. Although retirement allows freedom through a flexible schedule, it is important to have some purpose in your life and a reason to get up each day.

Dr. Margaret Moodian, Zeta Iota-Chapman, and her husband, Dr. Michael Moodian, live in Orange County, California with their rescue dog, Manny, and chinchilla, Marshall. You can reach Margaret at mminni100@hotmail.com or follow her on Twitter @mminni100

Carly Speaks: Taking a Bite Out of the Big Apple, Sunday Brunch

If I have learned anything since moving to New York City, it is that Sunday brunch is one of the best meals of the entire week. Sure, I look forward to maybe going out to dinner or ordering my food from Seamless (online ordering website for food delivery!) at some point during my week, but it is going out to brunch on Sunday that I really look forward to.

I'm extremely lucky in the sense that I live close to a multitude of amazing restaurants that serve phenomenal brunches and I'm in the never ending process of trying them all. The first to mention is a place called Good Enough to Eat. With a name like that, it is understandable to have high expectations. "Is this place really 'good enough to eat' like the name suggests?" After my first time eating there, I wasn't sure if I was going to rush to go back. The food was good (I got the BLT omelette (sans lettuce) and a Bloody Mary) but wasn't unforgettable. I decided to give it a second try and got the Deep South (three scrambled eggs and biscuits and sausage gravy). The second trip was much better, the biscuits were nice and fluffy and the sausage gravy wasn't a thick glob of bland nothingness. My only gripe about this place is that they don't have Eggs Benedict, which forced me to have to find something else. My mom got the scones with strawberry butter and they didn't look like your typical rock hard, dry as the desert type of scone either. All in all, I can see why there is a ton of hype about this place (and the line out the door proves that as well).

 

One of my favorite local brunch spots is a place called Fred's. My roommate has been telling me to try out this place for a while, and when my cousin Kelly was in town we decided to give it a shot. They have plenty of sidewalk seating (a major plus) and it is a dog friendly restaurant, which is a perfect way of curing my homesickness of my yellow lab back in Portland. Just when I thought the sidewalk seating was going to be a major perk, I looked at the menu. They have a breakfast special where you choose any breakfast entree and either a Bloody Mary or a Mimosa for $16.95! That is a steal in NYC. At most restaurants, you will pay that much just for the entree and close to $10 for the Bloody Mary. Breakfast even comes with delicious little muffins and strawberry butter (I'm sensing a trend here...). In true Carly Stiles fashion, I ordered Eggs Benedict and a Bloody Mary (I live a predictable life) and it was divine!

But the one place I've been dying to get brunch for two years now is Sarabeth's. Known to be one of the best brunches in all of New York City, getting a reservation at this place on a weekend is near impossible. I was getting frustrated because the Sarabeth's West location is a block and a half away from my apartment and I really wanted to try the food. My boss gave me a simple piece of advice: "Just walk in and see if they have a table." Duh, why didn't I think of that. I was so caught up in the fact that reservations are as rare as a unicorn that I didn't even consider that there still could be tables available. Low and behold, my mom and I walk up to Sarabeth's around 9:00 am and they seated us right away. Around 11:30, the line was out the door. Timing is everything!

One would think I would live up to my stereotypical brunch life and order Eggs Benedict, but I decided to what Sarabeth's is known for, their Lemon Ricotta Pancakes and a Pickled Bloody Mary (complete with tons of different pickled veggies!). The pancakes were divine! I could really taste the tart lemon and the ricotta made the pancakes very light compared to your average buttermilk style. Butter, maple syrup and berries accompanied the pancakes; the dish was a simple classic with a modern touch. My mom ordered the Pumpkin Waffle with sour cream, maple syrup and various nuts and seeds on top. I thought for sure it was going to be a dense sort of waffle and sour cream? Really? I was wrong on all accounts, the waffle was light and fluffy and the sour cream was a great substitute for butter. Two amazing dishes, and neither one of them was Eggs Benedict. If my experience at Sarabeth's has taught me anything, it is that I shouldn't be afraid to stray away from my usual dish and I should branch out and look at the rest of the menu, I could find a new favorite!

Carly Speaks: Taking a Bite Out of the Big Apple, "Sisters and the City"

As I've mentioned in my earlier posts, I moved to New York City knowing a handful of people. I utilized the NYC Alumnae chapter to help me find a roommate, so it is only natural that I use it to help find some friends too right?

Not too long ago, an alumna (Laurel Spinney, Phi-Colorado) posted in the NYC Facebook group about wanting to meet some DGs that lived in the city for drinks one Saturday night. My roommate, Cait, and I knew that it would be a great opportunity to meet new people and decided to go. We met up with four other DGs (including Laurel) at a fun Mexican restaurant in the Murray Hill area of Manhattan.

From Left: Trisha Guillen (Epsilon Lambda- Lehigh), Marisa Torch (Eta Iota- Reno), Cait Williamson (Zeta Theta- Columbia), Nicky Byrnes (Phi- Colorado), Laurel Spinney (Phi- Colorado) and Carly Stiles (Beta Upsilon- Oregon State)

Even though the six of us didn't know each other collectively (we each came with a friend), as an outsider you would have never known. Then in true Delta Gamma fashion, the small world discoveries started popping up throughout the evening. Cait interned for Marisa's uncle one summer and they both took pre-med classes at Columbia (most likely in the same classroom!), one of Trisha's good friends (also a DG!) works on my floor at work, and Nicky and Laurel, although from the same chapter, work in the same office and didn't realize it until after Nicky landed her internship. We spent a couple of hours talking about the upcoming alumnae events that we want to attend and how happy we were to meet one another. Marisa is in charge of the dinner club within the NYC alumnae chapter and we all decided it would be a great idea to do a brunch at Sarabeth's (rated one of the best brunches in NYC!) one weekend.

After what felt like only 30 minutes, we all left with new friends and a reinforced faith as to how amazing the Delta Gamma network really is. Without it, making friends would be that much more difficult in this crazy city of over 7 million people. Stay tuned for more fun summer activities, such as free movies in Bryant Park, Shakespeare in Central Park and maybe even a baseball game!  

Carly Speaks: Taking a Bite Out of the Big Apple "Finding a Roommate"

Moving to a new city is a pretty scary thing, especially when you can count the number of people that you know in the nearest 100 zip codes on one hand. My first attempt at finding a roommate was to ask my friends that currently live in NYC if they needed a new roommate or knew someone who did. I quickly struck out and needed to look elsewhere. I was really scared to go onto Craigslist and find a random roommate, you never know what you are going to find with Craigslist!

As a CDC, I preached to collegiate members the importance of joining the local alumnae group after graduation. "It is a really easy way to meet people!" I would always say. I figured it was time to practice what I preach. I already was a dues-paying member of the NYC Alumnae group and was constantly checking out the Facebook group for any "roommate wanted" posts. I ended up joining a g-mail group for DGs looking for roommates and/or apartments in the city. I sent out an e-mail to the group and within a few hours I heard back from a collegiate member about to graduate from Zeta Theta-Columbia named Cait. 

The rest happened so quickly; we went through the usual surface level questions about living habits, hometowns (she is also from the west coast!) and what we are doing in NYC (she does neuroscience research at Columbia). Cait had already found an awesome true 3 bedroom apartment in the Upper West Side, and from the looks of the pictures it really was perfect, and was planning on seeing it in person with a broker later that week. One of Cait's friends from Columbia became our third roommate and we signed the lease a week after I posted my original "roommate wanted" e-mail. Cait and I love telling the story of how we became roommates to other DGs because it truly is a testament to how amazing the DG network is. The night before I e-mailed the group, Zeta Theta had their Senior Pursuit meeting and encouraged the seniors to join the local alumnae group for where they will be living after graduation. Cait went home and joined the NYC Facebook page and the G-Mail group and it paid off! 

Kudos to Zeta Theta for encouraging the senior class to stay involved in Delta Gamma. Cait and I get along great, and having our ritual and sisterhood in common was just the beginning. I like to think that Cait and I's story is proof that Delta Gamma is not just 4 years of fun while in college, it truly is a lifetime membership. There are DGs everywhere, so why not go out and try and meet them? You never know what new and amazing friends (or roommates!) you will make along the way. 

Carly Speaks: Taking a Bite Out of the Big Apple "Intro"

I can’t believe my CDC year has come to a close and now I’m a young professional in the Big Apple! I just moved across the country after landing an entry-level sales job that values hard work and dedication and I secured an amazing apartment on the Upper West Side with two roommates. Now I am here, living in the city that never sleeps and enjoying all of the amazing opportunities that come with it. Stay tuned for info on what life is like as a young graduate! I plan on posting my tips, tricks and anecdotes throughout the summer…but first, here’s a little more about me...

I was born and raised in Portland, Oregon and received my Bachelor's degree in Marketing from Oregon State University in 2012. When I was a freshman, I knew I wanted to join a sorority; little did I know the impact it was going to have on the rest of my life. I enthusiastically joined Delta Gamma and was a sponge to the plethora of knowledge and information I learned my first year as member. It paid off; I was elected chapter president as a sophomore and I was very glad I paid close attention to everything that went on during chapter meeting, because now I was the one running those meetings. I was fortunate enough to attend the 64th Biennial Convention in Denver, Colorado at the end of my sophomore year and it was my first real exposure to the "bigger picture" of Delta Gamma. I got to see women who truly exemplified "lifetime membership" and the most memorable being the late Miss Eleanor Slaughter, Alpha Psi- Ole Miss. It is tradition at every Convention for the attendees to stand to show how many Conventions they have attended. I was excited to show that it was my first Convention, but I was more excited to see how many other women had attended. Ten, fifteen, twenty...wow, talk about dedication. Then they called upon 28 Conventions, and the only woman to walk up was Miss Slaughter. She received a standing ovation and cheers that brought tears to my eyes. This is what it means to be a Delta Gamma. I was forever inspired.

After my term as chapter president ended, I was elected vice president: membership and attended the Delta Gamma Institute in Columbus, Ohio in 2011. The 2011-2012 CDCs were there on their interview weekend and seeing them further inspired the desire that was already within me to consider applying the following year; but what really drove me to apply to be a CDC was my love for Delta Gamma and I wanted to give back to the organization that had given me so many wonderful opportunities. I was fortunate enough to have even been chosen to be a finalist, so I was ecstatic when I was offered the job.

The first year after I graduated college was a whirlwind. I got to live and breathe Delta Gamma all day every day and it was my goal to inspire at least one collegiate member to be the best member they could be. I met numerous women over the course of my year as CDC and I couldn't imagine what my experience would have been like if it wasn't for the spirit of our members across the country.

Read my first “official” blog post next Monday!

Young DGs Spend Summer "Doing Good" in Appalachia

In 2011, Carly Warner, Delta Lambda-Mississippi State, and I, (Melanie Pozuc, Gamma Epsilon-Kent State), met as staff members of a non-profit organization called Mountain T.O.P. The Tennessee Outreach project, fondly known as Mountain T.O.P., aims to meet needs of the Cumberland sector of Appalachia not just physically, but also socially, emotionally, and spiritually.

Mountain TOP has numerous programs that help to accomplish this including Youth Summer Ministry, Adults In Ministry, Spring Break Out, and numerous children’s programs. Carly and I have worked specifically with the Youth Summer Ministry for the past three years, taking on new positions with greater responsibilities each summer. Serving in this capacity has allowed us to not only encourage campers and fellow staff to serve selflessly but also to live out Mountain T.O.P.’s key philosophy of becoming “fishers of people.”

In our chapters, Carly and I have both held CMT positions: Carly as the VP of Foundations for Delta Lambda in 2011 and I am the current chapter president of Gamma Epsilon. Throughout our time on the mountain, we have grown as individuals, leaders, friends, and sisters. It’s no surprise that two people living out the values that Delta Gamma instilled in us would be brought together by the opportunity to “Do Good.” This experience has instilled in us the importance of servant leadership, an idea that encompassed our leadership styles and will help strengthen our chapters.

We would love to see more Delta Gamma sisters on the mountain to join us in “Doing Good”!

For more information on Mountain T.O.P and how to get involved, click http://www.mountain-top.org/


Melanie Pozuc, Gamma Epsilon-Kent State, attends Kent State University. She is majoring in Applied Conflict Management and minoring in Pre-Law and Non-Profit Studies. She plans on attending law school after graduating in Spring of 2014. Melanie currently serves as the chapter president for Gamma Epsilon-Kent State.


Carly Warner, Delta Lambda-Mississippi State, recently graduated Summa Cum Laude from Mississippi State University with a Bachelor’s Degree in Business Administration with a focus in Management. Her future plans are not yet concrete, but she plans on pursuing a career in corporate giving.

"It looked like what you’d imagine if you put a house into a blender"

It’s the smell that hits first, dank and permeable, the kind of smell that unsettles you, that seeps into your clothes and your pores, warning that things aren’t right. At least that’s what it was for my friend Germaine and I on Monday as we turned the corner from Santa Fe Avenue onto SW 15th street, in Moore, Oklahoma, our Zone 1 assignment where we’d spend the next few hours helping with tornado clean-up. Not that there’s much to clean up, although there is, blocks upon infinite blocks of debris, the remnants of lives shattered as just one week prior an F5 tornado waged its wrath upon a 17-mile swath of now-barren landscape.

Visually, I’d become inured to it, at least from a distance. Photos from friends and in the newspaper, eye-witness accounts in the media and on the internet helped brace me for the enormity of it all. But then stepping off that bus and smelling it; smelling made it real.

I didn’t expect the smell, a fetid cocktail of rotting drywall, rain-soaked carpet and churned-up plywood. It was deep and heady, laden with the musk of dampened dust, both sour and earthy in one inhale --  like scavenging through grandma’s attic where years of neglect have settled, caking every surface.

When we got to the site at 1017 SW 15th, this band of twenty or so strangers, we really didn’t know what to do. We had no individual assignments, just shovels, gloves, dust masks and a willingness to dig in and make what progress we could. But somehow the rubble told us what to do, and we fell into an instinctive rhythm: big pieces first, then medium-sized things like shingles and chunks of insulation. Pieces then turned into morsels, which we dug up by the shovelful, hoping that with each layer uncovered, we might find something the family valued. We were ants on a hill, marching, digging, clearing, moving, never really stopping to talk or rest, as piece-by-piece and shovel-by-shovel we slowly dug down to the floor.

Large debris, such as walls and portions of house frames, were carried out with quiet precision, flanked on each side by volunteers. Like pallbearers at a funeral, they moved with purpose, striding gingerly from where the house once stood to the growing mound of detritus along the curb.

We identified rooms based on what was found there: the kitchen (tupperware and a Bundt pan), a bedroom (a comforter, pillow and waterbed still in tact), the living room (a maroon faux velvet La-Z-Boy and TV), the bathroom (toilet, still bolted to the floor and buried under several feet of debris). As we dug, the family’s story emerged. Cards from two versions of Trivial Pursuit  - 80s and Silver Screen - were strewn about almost every corner of the site. There were cancelled checks from 1980 from when the family lived in Hawaii. We found random rolls of Christmas wrapping paper, a Barbie Doll, its hair still attached to the original packaging, a cut glass dish, dirty but undamaged, men’s 36” x 30” trousers still with the tags on, a Harry Potter book (Half-Blood Prince, to be exact), toiletries, and a Woman’s Day magazine from 1992.

Our conversations were minimal, “Excuse me,” “I’m sorry,” “Thank you,” “Do we have any wire-cutters?” For the most part we worked quietly, lost in a reverent silence, creating our own syncopated cadence of scraping shovels and the clatter-clap of wood being thrown onto the pile. From time to time, our song was punctuated by the squelching beep of a tow truck as it removed damaged cars from the street. But there were no other sounds: no birds singing or dogs barking at squirrels, no radios blaring as cars passed by, no children playing in yards. No life.

.

What personal items we found were amassed onto what turned out to be the garage floor, awaiting their owners’ return.  All other debris was thrown atop mountainous piles along the curb where it will remain until hauled off by front-end loaders a few weeks from now. We celebrated minor victories: finding a box of new clothing virtually untouched, ladies’ jewelry found deep amid crumbled drywall near the bedroom area, a torn photo or two and silverware, mud-caked but still intact. We had no idea if the items we were collecting even belonged to the family, or to those from the family next door, or the next street over, or from a half a mile away. The monster tornado, which churned through the area with wind speeds topping 200 MPH, pulverized everything in its path, mixing and blending houses and their belongings into a dense soup of hardwood and brick.

One reporter on the ground, upon first seeing the damage after the storm passed, said it looked like what you’d imagine if you put a house into a blender, turned it on high, and let it go. Homes and businesses were ground into crumbs, cars shred to ribbons of steel that were then wrapped around trees like some macabre holiday tinsel. The few trees remaining were stripped of their canopies and bark, and now stand naked but no less proud, their sharpened branches reaching heavenward like ghostly cathedral spires, monuments to the power of nature and the unknown.

Our goal, such as we had one, was to unearth a shadow box of military medals belonging to the homeowners. Fitting that on Memorial Day we would focus our efforts on the home of a veteran. Whether by happenstance or design, it gave more meaning to our task knowing that we were serving someone who had once served us. Unfortunately, by the time we left, we hadn’t found the beloved box. We’re hoping it may still be unearthed somewhere, and that whoever finds it will post photos of the medals to one of the online communities for mementos of its kind.

The task ahead seems daunting at best and recovery will take months if not years. The house we worked on was but one of thousands, and while we felt our progress was mighty, its contribution to the overall effort seemed miniscule.

After turning onto my own street to arrive home that afternoon, I drove around the block, absorbing everything I saw. I wondered if SW 15th Street, before the killer storm, bloomed with the same idyllic air as my own street a mere twenty-five miles away. Were its lawns freshly mowed? Did spring annuals dot the flower beds with pink and purple? Were children playing out front, guarded by the houses that stood brick-and-mortar tall? It dawned on me that with a shift in the jet stream, or a break in the dry line, the house that brought together this band of twenty or so strangers - not just Oklahomans, but people from Austin and Denton and Kansas and Oregon - could have been my own. And then I wondered, would it have smelled the same?(copyright - jlmcommunications)

Jennifer Lindsey McClintock, Alpha Iota-Oklahoma is a member of the Oklahoma City alumnae chapter. 

With Sisterhood, from Sea to Shining Sea

For some of us, Delta Gamma may be the biggest commitment of our college career, but since freshman year, two of my sisters of Zeta Alpha-Villanova have been committed to something much larger.  Rachel Mannix and Elise Fink participate in the Reserve Officers’ Training Corps (ROTC) program where they prepare to become commissioned officers of the US Armed Forces upon graduation this month.  I am beyond proud to call Rachel, Air Force ROTC and Elise, Army ROTC two of my wonderful sisters and friends. 

My sister, friend, and classmate Rachel Mannix effortlessly juggles her civil engineering curriculum with an Air Force ROTC program, two club sports, a close-knit family and countless friendships- while being an active member of Zeta Alpha each and every day.  On any given Tuesday or Thursday morning, Rachel’s iPhone alarm starts beeping at 3:45 a.m. so she can get out the door by 4:30 and arrive at her ROTC training by 5 a.m.  She is currently serving as the Cadet Wing Commander of Air Force ROTC Detachment 750 at Saint Joseph's University in Philadelphia, PA, where she is responsible for training and guiding 60 younger cadets through the program.

During the summer of 2011, Rachel was chosen from a highly selective pool of 6,000 candidates to complete a four week field training program in Alabama and Mississippi where she endured long days of boot camp to prepare for her future in the Air Force.  After receiving an award based on excellent participation, Rachel was asked to return the following summer to train the younger cadets.  She has been recognized and honored with the Air Warfare and Tankers Association scholarship in 2011, the Wenzel scholarship in 2012, and just recently, the Society of American Military Engineers scholarship.  In October, Rachel will begin her four years of active service at the Wright-Patterson Air Force Base in Ohio.

I have been fortunate enough to serve as a team member on projects, lab reports, and class presentations with Rachel, and I can honestly say that I couldn't have gotten through my rigorous engineering curriculum without her by my side.  Her apartment is decked out in a proportional mix of American flags and DG memorabilia, and she can often be seen throwing up her gamma.  Rachel is one of the most responsible, generous, intelligent and driven people I have ever met, and I am so lucky to call her not only my peer, but my sister for life.

Elise Fink is another dedicated member of not only our Zeta Alpha chapter but Villanova’s Army ROTC program.  Elise is a Communication Major with a minor in Criminal Justice.  She currently serves as the Executive Officer of her Army ROTC battalion at Villanova, and has assessed the Adjutant General, Active Duty.  Last summer, Elise completed a Cadet Troop Leader Training program at the Schofield Barracks in Hawaii, where she shadowed a Second Lieutenant of the 225 Brigade Support Battalion.  Elise’s ROTC achievements include the Physical Fitness of Excellence award after receiving a perfect score on her Army Physical Fitness Test at the Leadership Development Assessment Course. 

Just a few weeks ago, Elise found that she will be stationed in South Korea this upcoming September, and, judging by the massive smile she wore on that day, looks forward to serving our country from thirteen time zones away!

Last year, I had the privilege of spending spring break alongside Elise as we worked on Habitat for Humanity homes in Americus, Georgia.  I have known Elise since joining DG our freshman year, but our spring break service trip brought out characteristics I never had the opportunity to see.  Throughout the week, I recognized her strength, determination, wholeheartedness, and authenticity, characteristics that not only make her an amazing Delta Gamma sister, but an outstanding member of the US Military.

As Rachel and Elise graduate this month and leave Villanova to serve our great nation in new and far off places, we want to thank them for their dedication to our chapter and let them know that they are forever anchored in the bonds of Delta Gamma.  We love them and are so thankful and proud of their service to our country.

Diana Chiavetta, Zeta Alpha-Villanova, is a Civil and Environmental Engineering major who is so proud of her sisters and wanted to share the GOOD they are about to DO in our world. If you have a sister about to enter the armed forces, Delta Gamma wants to know about her. Contact our communications department at EO at Maryellen@deltagamma.org. You can reach Diana at dchiav01@villanova.edu. 

The Power of Communication

Words have power. Use yours wisely.

Words can hurt. Words can heal. Words can destroy. Words can build. Words can sting. Words can excite. Words can sooth. Words can bite.

But words can’t be deleted. They live forever in the memory of someone you spoke to, the cache of someone’s computer, in a Google search, in an inbox or on a Facebook page.

Every day, men and women use thousands of words to communicate their thoughts, actions and feelings. But do we think about the impact those words could have on those we direct them towards? If you are being honest with yourself, the answer is probably, no.

I felt the power of positive words today. A simple email, from an unexpected source, brightened my entire day. Three little words; “Thanks, you rock.” It left me with a smile on my face. That same person earlier in the day had emailed me and had some bad news, but even in the way she worded it, I knew that it would be OK. We won’t always agree and we won’t always have a positive message, but bringing up negative points in a positive way can move everyone forward together.

We might say, life is busy and we don’t have time for niceties or you might say, I was angry and they needed to know it. But if you think about it, in the time it took for you to say something negative and elicit a likely negative response, you could have said something positive and gotten a positive response.

Another email today set me on the war path. I couldn’t believe the tone that was taken, the back-handed compliment, the condescension that oozed from every word of the author. It would have been easy to reply with an equally snarky and passive aggressive tone, but I took the advice of a wise woman. I counted to 10, OK, I counted to 50, then I took a walk, then I got a coffee and then I responded to the email. I decided the high road was the path less taken and I took it. I thanked this person for their insight, I assured them that the proper steps were being taken and I welcomed further comments. You know what happened next? I got an apology. 

Sometimes in our need to “be heard” we are heard in a way we’d never want to be.

Dr. Susanne Gaddis, CEO of "The Communications Doctor," says that life is about creating better moments. (see YouTube link here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2HqzvWXLO4w )

Those moments are created every three to six seconds and can either enhance your life, detract from it or leave you no worse for the wear. Your interactions with people, your words and your non-verbal communications are what determine, what kind of moment you will create.

Delta Gamma is about “Do Good;” two simple words that can create layers and layers of hope, education, courage, commitment and strength. Two words that can go further than you think. Two words that if lived day in and day out, can create a sisterhood that everyone will want to emulate.

When the bombs went off in Boston, we learned that a Delta Gamma sister was among those hurt. She and her newly-wed husband both lost limbs in the explosion that shook our entire nation. In the hours and days following the explosion, this sister’s friends started a fund that has grown to nearly $1 million. Delta Gammas from around the country wrote messages of Hope and Courage to her while she recovers and collegiate and alumnae chapters in Boston reached out to this sister during her time of need. The power to "Do Good" will always triumph over the power of evil, just like the power of positive words will always triumph over negative.

I offer you this challenge. The next time you speak to a friend, sister, colleague or family member, think about the words that you want to use. What outcome will your words get you? Words have power. Use yours wisely.

Resources:

The Power of Positive Communication: http://www.foaj.ca/attachments/view/263/the_power_of_positive_communications.pdf

A Crash Course in Communications:

http://www.inc.com/articles/2000/08/20000.html

Mary Ellen Hardies is the Director of Communications for Delta Gamma Fraternity. She is a sister of Phi Mu's Ohio University chapter. You can reach her at maryellen@deltagamma.org.

A Socially Savvy DG Story

After graduating from the Epsilon Zeta chapter at Loyola Marymount University in 2007, I was ready to conquer the “real world”.  After graduation, I moved back home to San Diego and got an internship with The Upper Deck Company, where I was quickly given the reigns to tackle the new marketing buzz term, social media.

Facebook had just rolled out Pages for companies, YouTube and Twitter were just born, and blogging was about to take off. The marketing world as we knew it was going social. And who better than a communicative sorority girl to take the lead? I worked at Upper Deck for two and a half years before moving into the hospitality space to create social media strategies for high-end resorts. In 2011, I started my own business, Carrie Elizabeth Consulting, and was hired a year and a half later by Internet Marketing Inc., a full-service digital marketing agency in San Diego, to build out the social media department.

On my first day at IMI in October of 2012, I had one client. Four months later, I had eight clients and needed some help. I connected with a friend in the industry who connected me with what looked like the perfect candidate to help me build the social media team, Devon DeMars. I clicked on her LinkedIn profile and saw that we had ten mutual connections – two of which were my roommates at the time, and another who is my sister! It turns out that Devon was a DG at USC! We hit it off instantly, and I’m so happy to have her on the team.

On Devon’s first day of work, I introduced her to the other employees, and ended the tour with her meeting our new social media intern at the time, Kelsey Powell. After a few days Devon realized she was carrying a DG gym bag with her to work! Kelsey graduated from San Diego State University last May and is now one of our social media project managers… Yet another DG added to the social team!

 

Our social team only continued to grow, and so did the need for another team member. I was given a resume from a co-worker who spoke highly of a candidate named Sara Rogers. “She’s even a Delta Gamma”, he said, “which means she will be a great fit”. Sara had graduated from University of Colorado at Boulder and in fact is a perfect fit with our team.

Now four DGs strong in our department, word has gotten out that IMI has a soft spot for Delta Gammas. We now have two interns who are also DGs and who are seniors currently at San Diego State University, Julia White and Hallie Jacobs.

What can we say, even our mission statement has “Do Good” in it.

Carrie Peterson was the chapter president of Epsilon Zeta-Loyola Marymount in 2006 and is currently the social media director at IMI, where she currently works with five fellow DGs on a team of seven. You can email her at carrie@internetmarketinginc.com or visit http://www.internetmarketinginc.com/ if you’d like to work with fellow Delta Gammas on your social media, or simply to say hello. 

Tips for Graduating Delta Gammas

This is the time of year when many students graduate from college. The purpose of school is to prepare students for the real world. There are many things that you may not have learned in college, or even through the Fraternity. This post is to supplement what you've learned. Getting a job is one thing, but keeping it and excelling at it are another. Here are some tips to help you get ahead:

My doctoral dissertation focused on success factors of female Fortune 1000 board members. These tips helped them, as well as other women leaders, get ahead. Follow their footsteps and you could be the next woman to break through the glass ceiling!

Make a good first impression.

When you first meet someone, look them in the eye and give them a firm handshake. You don’t want it to be limp like a fish and you don’t want to make it seem like you’re breaking their hand either. Introduce yourself with your first and last name. Be sure to hand out your business card, and get theirs too. Ask to keep in touch through LinkedIn. You never know what staying in touch this way will bring. I’ve gotten jobs just by being connected with people through LinkedIn.

Unlearn what you might have learned.

At a young age, women are often socialized in a way that is counterproductive to their success. Some examples of this are being taught to be demure and told that math is for boys. Both of these things can hinder women from success. Being assertive and learning math are things that anyone can do and can help anyone to succeed. Of course, being aggressive is not valued in the workplace, but being assertive is essential to success.

Dress to get ahead.

What women wear is important to success. Studies show that dressing seductively in the workplace keeps women from excelling. If women want to be treated as equal in the workplace and valued, they need to act accordingly. One good example of proper dress was actually taught to me as a Delta Gamma in college. If you’re going to wear a dress, test the appropriateness of its length by putting your hands on your sides with your hands flat. If the dress goes below your middle finger, you’re okay, if it’s above, it’s too short. Don’t show cleavage or a midriff. These are two things that detract from great work. You want to be known for the excellent work you produce, not how tight your clothes are!

Communicate well.

The way you speak is extremely important. Be confident. Lowering the tone of your voice and speaking up are two things that can help you be seen as more credible. Do not end sentences with questions, this detracts from the importance of what you are saying. Also, filler words such as like and um take away from important things you have to say as well.

Dr. Margaret Moodian, Zeta Iota-Chapman, and her husband, Dr. Michael Moodian, live in Orange County, California with their rescue dog, Manny, and chinchilla, Marshall. You can reach Margaret at mminni100@hotmail.com or follow her on Twitter @mminni100.